After I Finish This Row

Feingold One Month

We are still on the diet.  Which for those who know me well cant stay on a diet to save my life.  But the changes I have seen from the beginining have kept us going. 

Everyone is benefitting.  Bryant no longer has insomnia.  Since he was a baby he has not been able to sleep through the night, till this month.  I actually have to wake him up in the morning instead of him waking me up.  He also had a patch of psorisis on his left eyelid, that is now gone!  Kate of course is doing really well, she is not as needy as she used to be and she responds to my words.  I can think clearer.  It amazes me how much better I feel mentally. 

We had a few more infractions this month, the dyes and sizing in her new clothes gave me a very angry child for two days.  It was so stressful!  Discipline was out of the question everything I tried failed. I was so frustrated I said mean things I shouldnt have. I finally said Im going to my room to knit, stay in your room.  But we are coming back out of it.  I hope today will be easier. 

I see us sticking with the diet long term.  Many problems could be helped with this diet. 

First Week On Feingold

What an amazing week!  A few months ago we (us and out pediatrician) were convinced with Kate's horrible mood swings, pain in her joints and tummy aches she must have some type of autoimmune disease. She was tested for the biggies like Leukimia.   Last week when her cheeks got red again and her behavior pushed me to consider abandonment or <gasp> putting her in school to give me a break. Pat knew I was desperate.  'In a last ditch effort I did a search on the things I had noticed over the last two months "red cheeks" and "behavior", I felt odd putting in behavior.  Anyway the Feingold Diet came up.  Id heard about it before and a friend has been on it for several years.  After reading about the children who had been helped by cutting out artificial flavors and colorings (and a few other things) I was convinced it would help Kate.  Heck it was worth a try.  Pat was behind me.  And after a week its been a success.   

Julia is exstatic at the change in Kate.  She has said things like "Our home is happy again."  "I like doing things for her cause she asks sweetly now."  Kate is doing great she wakes up happy, and sleeps through the night.    You can tell she feels good.  She has a longer attention span.   

We did have an "infraction" with some cookies and a pig in a blanket on a road trip (it wasnt my fault).  It took over 24 hours for the influence of those chemicals to wear off. She had a hard time falling asleep that night, and then woke up at 4 am b*thcing about a myriad of things.  She was still confrontational when she woke and finally about 25 hours later she "relaxed" back into a calm child. 

Its interesting that some of these bad behaviors are now habit.  For the most part she is pretty compliant.  I am the parent again.  I can say no and expect for her to pout and get on with life, not start screaming, calling me a liar and then throwing a fit for hours in her room till she either falls asleep or gives in.  I'm a good parent again.  Not the poor ragged lady "herding cats."         

I always thought I fed my kids pretty well.  But there were so many things I didnt know that was causing them so much pain.  I wish I could go back from the very beginning and feed them right.  But thats ok, cause we are doing it right now.  :)

Everyone is benefitting from the diet.  And now that I have gotten us on our feet I can get back to knitting.  Oh yeah baby!

Julia is right there is a sweet spirit back in our home.  This has been the answer to my prayers. 

Feingold Diet Day 3

It was a long day.  It was mostly a good day however.  I had to make a business trip up to Houston just a zippy trip to sign some paperwork.  So while I was going I figured Id go to Whole Foods since we live at the end of the earth.  Luckily Becca was an awesome navigator!  She was able to "Find the Whole Foods that was on the same exit as a street that starts with an F off of 59." Cause thats all I could remember about going to the store previously.  And yes she will be well rewarded!  LOL  I put the info  in my Truck Master Binder that also has addresses of yarn shops in Texas (cause you just never know.) I also put directions to friends houses in there as well as oil change receipts.    

Anyway we got to pick up a bunch of wholesome junk food for us.  And we picked up a yummy lunch there as well.  I made a big mistake I let Kate sample a salad that had some peppers in it.  And within 10 minutes we were at the check out and she was throwing a huge fit.  I knew I couldn't stop it, and did my best to talk to her and just get out quickly.  An older woman came up to her and tried to talk to her it helped a little.  And another woman was really sweet and said something like "Hang in there mom.  We all have to go through it on one level or another."  And a very sweet man offered her flowers.  I almost kissed him I was so touched, it was such a sweet gesture.  He said his sons had done the same before and just wanted us to know it was OK.  I used to be a little uneasy in there with four children wondering what some people must think of me and my Eco footprint.  But the love I felt from those people was really nice.  They knew where I was coming from.  It was nice to have support.   

I did well.  I didn't freak, or even get upset.  My checker practically signed the slip for me.  I knew there was nothing I could do, I was going to deal with it the best I could.  I got her to the truck, we hugged, she still wasn't happy.  heh.  And she quickly quieted down. 

Pat called and asked how it had gone and normally I would have been in tears over the embarrassment that I am a horrible mom, and that people must think I abuse her, etc.  But I was OK.  And then suddenly a rush of emotion came over me and tears.  What if something I had brought home is something she cant have?  What if I am doing the wrong thing?  What if all the incidences with the foods and behavior is really just coincidences.       

I wouldn't have weathered through the trip through whole foods with a toddler who wanted to touch every glass bottle, a boy who wanted to hot rod the cart in the wine aisle and a 4 year old who wanted to smell every cheese in the store if it weren't for Buddhism For Mothers. My copy that I still haven't finished  is dog eared, underlined, pages falling out and Ive only had it maybe two months.  It is the best book on dealing with Mommy stress.  It's my new mommy gift book that has replaced "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" .  Shocking I know. 

Feingold Diet Day 2

First a bit of knitting erotica.  I knit a quick cell phone holder out of the yummy yarn Col gave me for our Fibertines.  It is really pretty, it needs to be seamed so you all can oogle over it.  And Ive had some very significan yarn in my stash that I am knitting a baby hat for a friend.  :)  Cute hunter green rib. 

Ok, now to the rest of my life.  Yesterday had lots of success with the diet.  Kate gets that food additives are making her sick.  However she hasnt quite figured out that coke, and HI-C (she got it at dance) also have the same additives in it. 

We were doing great on the diet, had breakfast and lunch under our belts and my sweet sister in laws mother came by.  With a big strawberry cake in her hands.  I am so embarradssed to report that I wasnt tactful, as I had not rehearsed this possible scenario.  "You didnt really bring me that did you."  LOL  No harm done, I apologized explained what was going on and then took the cake down to the office, thankgoodness they were having their monthly meeting with all the employees.

Her behavior is still improving.  Little things are being ironed out, subtle things like putting her shoes on where a battle, now she just does it.  And quicker.  So I know she must have been in a fog, knowing what she needed to do but not having the mental energy to see it through.  She is still getting upset, but I can either ignore it and she stops or I can talk her through it and its over.  Not the fights where she refused to back down   The one where everyone thought I was a bad MOM!  That was hard, knowing I had raised two kids to be pretty obedient and act civil and then to have a kid who was basically hell on wheels.  And constantly feeling the judgement.   

I've had people say "but isnt it expensive to feed 4 kids that way."  This diet has done so much to change the temperment of this child that I will pay whatever it costs.  And if it keeps her and me out of the shrinks office, where do I write the check?  The peace is worth the money. 

Feingold Diet Day 1

After many months of off and on bad behavior Kate had a horrible day yesterday.  Her face turned red and she was getting upset over every little thing.  Then around 5 she had a huge explosion!  As I got the paperwork together to call the Dr to ask for more tests I thought I'm gona search "behavior red cheeks" And this website popped up. The Feingold Diet.  Also known as the ADHD diet.  It said that some kids who have sensitivities to certain food dyes, preservatives etc will act out.  This sounded like Kate.  All of the sudden for no apparent reason she would get so angry and I didn't know why or how to stop it.  She had a hot dog for lunch before she freaked out and on Sunday morning the WORST episode ever of bad behavior she had had a donut with sprinkles! 

Spanking her didn't help.  My friends figured I wasn't consistent enough.  Time outs "were a joke".  I couldn't keep her in time out to save my life.  Talking didn't help.  She couldn't behave. 

Patrick agreed that we should try this as all the examples sounded so similar, sudden bursts of hyperactivity, irritability, no patience, only wanting play be her own rules, etc.  So yesterday we all started.  Already since Kate is so small I could see an improvement.  She even understands that we aren't punishing her but helping her to avoid the foods she shouldn't eat. 

The day had gone very smoother and I found myself so happy and not needing to knit as much as usual.  He.  And all the sudden I heard her turn into a meanie.  Her tone had changed.  I got up to see what the problem was and her face was red.  I asked her what she had eaten that had food coloring in it and she didn't know.  Then Julia said she just had a few sips of coke!  And that was all it took!  Amazing! 

She has had a longer attention span, MUCH longer, has let other people take turns, waited more patiently then usual and was generally pleasant.  As I took her on errands today I was excited that she was with me, not dreading what silly fit she may have. 

Today at dance they give snacks afterwords.  So me and Pat told her that she gets to bring her snack to Daddy and he will exchange it for a treat that she can have.  Her eyes lit up when she realized she could thank the girl who brought the snacks and that it would all be a big trick that she would give it to her Dad!  HA! 

I am now seeing several things that I hadn't fully understood.  First when Kate was sick she was SOOOOO sweet and pleasant, Wednesday nights (after snacks at Dance) she was a huge pill, and that at Pats moms she is always perfect, because all the food there is on her list of stuff she can eat! 

We decided that we will all  do the diet together.  Pat does it on the go and often brings fast food home, but Ive asked him not to eat it in the home. 

The diet is pretty easy, she can still eat junk food, just not certain junk foods. 

She has gotten the bug big time.  She fully understands that we are trying to help her.  It is the first night in months that I know we are going to be great together.  I'm no longer dreading the time when she is ready to learn to read!  I am ecstatic that she is my kid! 

Today there was no stare downs, no screaming (by either of us), no frustration, no embarrassment.  It was so nice to have a normal day.  I had a big smile on my face even when Pat came home at 8:30, cause we finally had a normal day.